working too much

The past week I've been working on my online writing stuff way too much. I'm getting a ton of writing done, but it's really wearing me out. Now that I can see again, I'm going to unpack my painting stuff and at least play around. I can see colors more vibrantly now, so maybe that will make a difference in my paintings.

We'll see. I can't post any pictures, I don't have the right kind of camera at the moment. And I don't have any extra money for a new one right now. Maybe I will have some after Christmas.

I promised Nothing Profound that I would write a blog post tonight, and I can't think of anything! I am taking zombie pills right now, and that's not helping any (well, it's helping my anxiety, but not my brain fucntioning power!)

But I will leave you with one tip: don't drink and blog (or forum post:) It can only get ugly!

Being Happy

I've been doing a lot of thinking the past few weeks. I know this is hard to believe, but sometimes I really DO dust off the pinkish-grey thinking machine and have a go at logical contemplation.

Anyway, I've decided to scrap my old plans that I've been working on the past several years, and restructure my future goals. I realized, in the course of hating what I've been doing for the past couple of years, that hating what you do isn't condusive to personal happiness.

I started out with the goal to learn Internet Marketing, and got sidetracked when I learned I could make pretty easy money writing articles online. My plan was then to start my Internet Marketing career once I made enough in residual income from my articles to support myself.

But then Hell Year happened. While I won't go into details, 2009 was one of the worst years I've ever experienced, and I'm still not fully recovered from it. But one thing I've learned is that I want to be happy, and that making a lot of money is no longer as important to me as it once was.

I want to do something that I enjoy to a great extent, and while I don't think I'll ever make a lot of money from it, I want to be able to enjoy my life. I want to paint, and sculpt, and make ugly collages and assemblages that most of the time are unappreciated by anyone but myself. I'm smart, I'm sure I can figure out how to make some type of profit from my artwork, but I'm no longer dead set on making a fortune. It's what I want to do, and that's what I'm going to do.

Happy Anniversary Baby!!!!!

I started my relationship with my boyfriend, William, one year ago today. Of course we didn't start going out right away, but that's the day I started flirting with him inappropriately through a private shout on Blogcatalog.

That's got to mean something, right? Well, it means something to me. Last night we reminicsed, over the phone, about our fateful first private conversation, involving Spongebob Squarepants, French maid outfits, and barbeque sauce. Oh, the memories.

I love you baby!!!

I'm starving!

here are the things I'm NOT going to eat today:

mushroom and swiss burger

brownies, really thick, fudgy ones that someone was awful enough to buy, and even show them to me

fried burrito with sour cream

donuts of any kind (especially chocolate or jelly-filled)

I swear, I refuse to eat any of that crap!

tsunami part 2

Well, nothing happened, at least as far as I could tell. I guess that's good. The only thing I noticed was there were a lot of seagulls making noise right before the tsunami was supposed to come in. The ocean seemed really loud, but I've heard it that loud in regular storms before. I guess a boring tsunami is way better than a non-boring tsunami. I bet the Samoans would agree.

tsunami

We're going to save a small tsunami tonight, starting about 10 pm. The waves are supposed to be small, one to two feet, and last all night. I live about a block from the beach. I doubt I'll be able to see anything, but I might hear it. The ocean's already pretty loud this close. here are some picture of the beach I took at sunset tonight. The tide is super low right now. All that sand will be covered in water, probably right up to where I was standing.

happy

Why I'm happy, I have no idea.With all the shit that's happened to me lately, I'm surprised I'm not in some serious depression, huddled in the fetal position on the floor, speaking incoherently, or catatonic. For some reason, I've been able to go past feelings of anger, that by all rights I "should" be feeling, and reached acceptance of what has happened, forgive, sort of forget, and just live my life because it's mine, and that's what I want to do. I don't want to whine and complain about it, and think about it constantly, and live in the past, even though the past is only a few weeks ago. I should be angry. But I'm not. I simply want to move on. And be happy. Bad things happen, and sometimes you just need to get past it, and leave the analysing for the future. I have the best family anyone could ever dream of, the perfect boyfriend whom I love more than the world itself, my health. I have food, clean water, shelter, nice things that I like, recreation and hobbies that fulfill me. I live in one of the most beautiful places on Earth. I couldn't ask for a more perfect life, because it's right here.